I woke up before the sun today. I feel like it’s the first day of school and I’m so excited I barely slept. Will probably go back to bed after this. I am trying to practice gratitude and self love. And I am also trying not to feel guilt or shame for the choices I made. Being present is a life long practice, and I need to remind myself of that as well. I don’t wake up suddenly and find myself completely present. It doesn’t work that way. It’s not some dimension that I am excluded from, it is a confidence game. It is a mental state. I want to be able to love myself enough to be there and not wherever my doubts take me. I’ve been stuck in the past this week. With this show finally getting an audience and these moments finally getting some piece of peace, I can begin to let it all go and focus on the new chapter. Saturn Return is a time of deep reflection, and how amazing is it that I get to share mine with loving and supportive people. Ancestors watching over me for sure. I can’t wait to tell my stories tonight. I can’t wait to feel the energy in the room as I reflect in front of an audience. It’s going to be great, I will allow myself to be great, I will allow myself to feel the love.
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